The things I will tell my daughter

There are so many things my mother taught me.
Learn to do everything alone.
Be independent.
Don’t wait for someone to help you.
Do no harm, but take no shit.
Don’t let anyone abuse you.
Make the best of every moment
Fight back.
Don’t hide in a corner.
So many times my mother raised her fist at the universe while I sobbed on the phone.
She scrapped together a life for us, in spite of all the heartbreak she endured.
“I never needed a career – I had you to take care of.”
She is the master of taking many nothings and creating somethings.
She told me all her stories.  She told me all her heartbreaks in the hopes that I would learn from them.
Some days I’m not sure I did a good enough job.
I see myself mirroring hers – and wonder if I made the right decisions.
How can it be so different? And, yet so much the same.

When I have a daughter, I will tell her:
The dealer always wins, but that’s not an excuse not to try.
Don’t wait for anyone, go ahead and chase your dreams.
The people you love will hurt you – decide when enough is enough.
Be giving, but don’t let people use you.
In spite of it all, life goes on.
Everyone has an addiction that they use to soothe their pain. Don’t let it consume you.
It’s easy to say, “It’s not my relationship.” But, life is hard and there’s no reason to treat other women as shitty as the world treats us.
It’s easy to say, “That’s not my responsibility,” but if you are hurting someone then ask yourself again if it’s really worth all that harm.
The truth has power, but so do secrets. It’s hard to show your scars to the world, but its even harder to live in shame.
We are all the evil in someone else’s story – don’t demonise yourself but don’t victimise yourself either.  All situations are composed multiple actors.
Forgive yourself. It’s often the hardest thing to do.
Your body is beautiful, but it’s not all you offer the world.  There is so much more to you.
Work on your inside, as much as your outside.
Read. Explore. See life.
You will fail many times – so many times.  You will experience so many heartbreaks and you will wonder how you will go on.  But, in the end, we just do.  We go on.  Women are built by the universe to endure so much pain.  You will survive it. You will survive this. And, you will go on.




1 thought on “The things I will tell my daughter

  1. Excellent advice, beautifully said:-)


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