Toxic

You know, despite my inherent penchant for being alone, I do actually try with people. And, I’m not really good at it because I’m awkward, but I give it my best.

Generally, I’ll take a lot of abuse. I am not sure if I always think they will be better or I’m just hopeful.

I guess I’m just hopeful because inside there is a little girl who started at a new school too many times and she just wanted someone to talk to her. And sometimes, no one would. So she would eat lunch with the teacher and pretend a 30 year old woman was her friend.

People can be both kind and cruel. People can surprise you and people can let you down.

But, I’m an adult now and I really don’t need to be around people who aren’t kind.

So, today I decided no more. I’m going to keep working on me and not worry about people who don’t bring any goodness into my life.

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1 thought on “Toxic

  1. Good for you!
    I went to a new school twice a week, starting in 2nd grade. Things were different at the new school, and shy young me couldn’t handle walking from the classrooms to the lunchroom without crying, so my math teacher would hold me hand. She MADE me get some courage when she said I could only hold her hand walking to/from lunch if I’d Stop Crying, though. It was rough. But she was my absolute favorite teacher forever.
    Beyond that, it honestly doesn’t matter how much of yourself you give away in order to better the world (meaning, it’s not a bad thing to do), so long as you’re not giving it away to toxic people or environments or anything that refuses to be improved by that infusion of YOU. There’s plenty of you to give away, to the people and environs that will gain from it. I know, because I am the same. You can have as much of me as you need to grow. But if you’re toxic?

    FUCK OFF.

    Ennyhoo, good for you, for making that decision for self-care.

    Like

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