I am not the one

I am not the one who can save you. Please stop following me around. I am not the one. I don’t have any answers for you. I can’t tell you what you’re looking for and I can’t tell you what’s missing. I am not the more you are looking for. I don’t know what’s broken And no, I can’t fix it.

I am not the one for you. I am sure there is some goddess out there waiting for you to arrive so she can hand you the answers you are looking for. But, she’s not here and I don’t know where you can find her. And, she is not me.

Listen, I know you think I understand and I know you think I could be your missing puzzle piece, but I am not. Underneath all of this calm is just another regular ass person with 19 duffel bags of nightmares and several illegal demon pets.

You really don’t want in on this deal. I know you think I’m depreciating my value, but really I am not the one. I can’t save you. What’s more – I don’t want to. Because the cost of saving someone is losing myself. And I’ve been lost in too many mazes made of knives disguised as words. Those piercing cuts made of “you’re being crazy,” “why are you crying again,” “you make me completely miserable,” “why are you being like this,” “you are supposed to be my escape”you are panicking over stupid shit” “why can’t you just be happy for me” and to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t have enough unmarked skin left for you to sink your teeth into.

So, I am not the one. For you or anyone. I just would like my tattered soul back because I’ve really got to go. There’s a train going somewhere far away from you. I cannot save you anymore than I can save me.

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1 thought on “I am not the one

  1. woof. I’m so grateful that I’m not the one this is directed to, but also, *hugs*

    Like

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