Am I sitting in a recliner on my husband’s patio?

Yes.

Was the recliner always there? No, I just moved it because patio chairs are universally uncomfortable and I want to be comfy as fuck right now.

Am I wearing storm trooper socks? Yes. They are at target in case anyone is interested.

This is heavenly.

Today is Friday and I am in South Africa with my dogs and hot husband. Well, he’s at work. In any other time and place during my adult life, I would have been working. I’m actually mildly petrified about not working. Not working leaves a whole lot of time for me to think, which means I am really good at it in the worst way possible.

You may be asking yourself, “Well, why don’t you work?” The answer, as with all things in my life, is complicated. I am taking some extended leave and going back to my other job every sixty days. Teleworking wasn’t an option and being apart from hot husband was probably going to give one of us a nervous breakdown (by one of us, I think we can all agree, I mean me). I love working, but I wasn’t happy and we are financially stable enough to afford this situation temporarily.

I am probably on the cusp of taking a two year leave of absence because hoorah, marine corps. Part of me has a sinking feeling about this, but the other part thinks that maybe it’s time for some changes. Or something different. Maybe its time to do the things I want to do. All those things I put off or didn’t do because I was focused on work.

So, I made a list and I’m going to do the things I want to do. Except go shopping because let’s face it I have a minor obsession with clothes and shoes. And stuff.

Sometimes it’s not even big stuff. It’s just putting the recliner on the patio because I can. Or insert any other thing you want to do here. Write. Photograph. Go see things. Eat good food. Have fun.

I know this is coming from a place of privilege. I know many people do not have this option. I am lucky. I also need some time to figure out who I want to be when I grow up separate from the ideas of others.

#yolo

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5 thoughts on “Am I sitting in a recliner on my husband’s patio?

  1. sending good vibes your way on this journey. I’m currently debating what I wanna do when I grow up too… I’m fearing this new company command challenge but its a good fear.. nail biting but hopefully it goes good cuz after it its bye bye army and off to the real world … hit me up if you every need anything, keep your blogs coming… peace

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Good luck! I have a discovered a passion for gardening. When I have the energy I tutor teenagers and children. You may not work full time, but you may find small jobs come your way. Some writers need editors, etc. It will happen. It can seem so confusing and overwhelming at times, but little steps (sometimes zig zag, sometimes backward) will get you where you are going. You might enoy “Composing a Life” by Mary Catherine Bateson. She writes about women who have changed careers or directions, or discovered new interests. This book helped me a great deal at a time when I was feeling lost and confused.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HOO-RAY for noticing when your life is so blessed that you Get An Opportunity to Reassess. Two years to decide what you Wanna Be When You Grow Up? I think I would KILL for that. No, seriously, if my husband’s life insurance were worth more, I would consider it. Not really, but, um, yeah. This past year has been a similar reassess for me, except that I’ve had to continue working whilst also trying new things. Oh, to be able to afford to JUST try new things!

    But I’m making progress, and I’m grateful for that. I wish many adventures on you, in this time of Deep Reflection. Or, whatever, your hiatus from the “Real World”. Please be sure to keep us informed of the things you try, whether they become new passions or just, um, NO moments. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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