Creativity vs Depression

I’m currently between two extremes:

  1. Massive Creative Mania
  2. Kinda want to wrap myself in depression’s blanket 

I’m sure it would help if I slept like a normal person. Don’t get me wrong, my sleep issues don’t have me up at all hours like they did in 2012-2013.  Mostly, I have trouble shutting down my brain to get to sleep, staying asleep, and then I have insane dreams that either leave me vastly confused about WTF is going on in my brain or upset about the emotional conflict that my brain made up.

Sidenote: I once thought there was a medication that stopped dreams. There is not.

I could deal with the sleep thing if I had benadryl – but I’m all out until my amazon order (Go to the store, you say.  They don’t have it here) comes in. Which is fine, I can hack it until then. Probably.

I feel like I am stuck between two extremes: wanting to do everything and wanting to do nothing.  The internal arguments between the Lindsay’s are particularly interesting and go something like this:

Artistic L: I NEED A GRAPHIC DESIGN APP. 
Depressed L: I’m tired
Artistic L: WE SHOULD WRITE THIS STORY
Depressed L: I want to sleep
Artistic L: AND HERE IS ANOTHER IDEA FOR OUR WRITING 
Depressed L: are you always this loud?
Anxiety: I have to pee 

How do you manage the extremes?  And well the anxiety doesn’t know what to do, so we are currently in the midst of a mental cold war.

And because the creative one is on hyperdrive – I created the below as a compromise.

BeFunky Design2.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Creativity vs Depression

  1. I like the poem, even though I am blessed to not experience any sort of mania or anxiety. My broken brain only sits in the muddy, lying waters of Depression (when that is the case). And I’m grateful that the last time I experienced even a MILD (for me, of course. For Me) Depression was … a year ago? Maybe a little less; I did have my temporary assignment at Warner Bros. end in February of last year, so I may have hit a “lull” in Feb/Mar.

    I’m Blessed, and I know it. Not that I think I’m better than you, for what you suffer. I’m Grateful to truly Not Understand all the other mental health issues that plague so many. I offer Light and Life and Peace to you.

    … and I’m rooting for Artistic L! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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