Walking & Thinking

I’ve found that the surefire way to figure out if I’m being borderline obsessive about something is while I am walking/running/or otherwise moving my body in a direction and this one magical thing happens.


I.Fall.On.My.Face

Well, I just fall face first. Last night, while hemming and hawing over something that shouldn’t even be an issue (because it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to) I tripped over my dogs leash and ended up horizontal, in the dark, at 7pm, with my dogs starting at me like I am insane.  

This is the second time in less an a week that this has occurred.  So, I can either blame the whole “trying to work out more bit” or I’m thinking too much about everything.  

Considering that I haven’t slept soundly in like 3 weeks – I’m going to go with thinking too much. 

Why you ask? 

I wish I could give you an answer outside of my epic polyamorous relationship with anxiety and depression (and today’s forecast and the forecast for the last month or so has been anxiety).  

I’m sure it has something to do the impending nupitals and the possible life changes that will also be a result of that.  The invitations are about to go out and things are getting settled, but I can’t help but feel a little detached from the entire process because I’m doing it from far away and I’m not with my hot fiance.  

On the bright side, it’s happening in 129 days and it’s gonna be an awesome wedding.  On the down side, I have no idea when or how we are going to get back in the same location or country or continent (same time zone FTW).  By the time we get married, it will be we will have been apart for 66% of our relations.  

When will I know? 0 idea.  I have to say that not being able to answer people’s questions about the wedding is kind of hilarious – for instance:

1. Are you honeymooning? It depends on what happens his next assignment 
2. When are you arriving at your wedding destination? Something like 6 days before
3. Do you have plane tickets? No
4. When is he getting there? No idea before May 14th one hopes
5. What are you going to do after the wedding? Meh unknown
6. Have you met his family? Not yet

Do you see what I am getting at? I know this situation is kind of ridiculous, but at this point lacking any kind of consistency or surity for so long – its almost become comedic instead of absolutely petrifying (kdding – sometimes it’s still pretty petrifying). 

It’s still worth it. 

And now that this post has effectively become about my wedding, I will end here. 

Life lessons:

1. Don’t walk and think
2. Keep your polyamorous lover’s separate
3. Wedding planning generally sucks, but with the food involved I can’t say no
4. Never run out of benadryl

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2 thoughts on “Walking & Thinking

  1. Okay, I now know why you drive in foreign countries! (Yes, I’m reading backwards through your timeline)

    I think Life Lesson #1 is sufficient. Don’t think beyond “if I cross this street without looking, will I be hit by a car?”

    All else will fall into place. And my fave answer re:impending wedding questions, “I’m can’t tell you; it’s a secret” 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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